Sexual Addiction Broken

Sexual Addiction Broken


  • 0
  • June 19, 2020

Testimony of Mr. Delasie Dogbey

 

Parents Beware!

At the age of 8, I struck an acquaintance with a 15 year old girl in our neighborhood and this relationship unknown to me was the gateway to decades of addiction to sexual promiscuity spanning across pornography, womanizing and a reckless party life.

This girl coincidentally was also an offspring of parents whose jobs took them away from home most of the time and she was always left alone in the house. To break the boredom and keep herself busy, the devil found work for her idle mind and pornography had become her companion and better half. She introduced me to pornography and taught me how to arouse her erotic feelings and satisfy her sexually. I became hooked to this way of life and became enslaved to it and for years, the comfort of the privacy of her room became my second home where we explored our new found world with unlimited degree of freedom.

Until then, it was an exciting life growing up in a plush residential area in Accra and attending the best of schools in the care of Christian parents who were also astute professionals in the market place. My parents were all Human Resource practitioners who worked in the Public Sector. Life was good and we were raised up with sound Christian principles and values.

Unfortunately, the demands of work ensured that my parents had very minimal contact hours with us and I therefore ended up in the care of my grandmother who in a typical fashion could not crack the whip to enforce checks and controls to keep me from going astray. With my new found freedom, I began to find solace and comfort in the homes of friends and one of such acquaintances turned out as the defining point of my life.

 

Birth of a Monster

A monster was born. Like introducing candies to a child, I tasted it, discovered the sweetness and became hooked to it to an extent that I couldn’t do without it. We succeeded in guarding this secret with a jealous care that was known only to the two of us. I had become a prisoner to this new found attraction and I always looked forward to our next encounter with great expectation and left with lingering, insatiable, obsessive and compulsive nostalgic feelings. Being older than myself, she offered voluntarily to walk from her school which was not too distant from mine to pick me up and accompany me to her room routinely to explore our new found world. She schooled me well and in no time, I had graduated with distinction from an apprentice to an expert consultant at the game.

Looking unassuming and innocent as I was, I had become a monstrous predator and when she left for boarding school, I turned my attention to the girls in the neighborhood and most of them succumbed to my predatory instincts. Ordinary visits by girls to my grandmother’s house ended up in a showdown. This way of life continued and escalated to alarming proportions in secondary school where as though by “divine providence” I was linked up with a school mother who fuelled this passion. Even though she was in SHS 3, my experience from home had equipped me thoroughly to handle older women with ease and finesse as I knew too much for my age. So by some form of telepathy, we clicked at first sight and she begun to line up her mates for me and I always delivered and excelled with distinction to their dismay at the erotic capabilities of this seemingly innocent but monstrous whiz kid. I meritoriously earned the nick name “Raspetwe” as a befitting tribute to my way of life.

By the easily visible standards of morality, I was a good boy: never flouted school rules, took my studies serious and even managed to become a prefect and attended Scripture Union meetings with this baggage of worms.

When I got to the University in 2004, I vowed to forsake this way of life and chart a new course but no sooner than later, I was spotted by my mates and the usual hype started extolling my virtues and in no time, I was at it again. I scaled up and added drinking and partying to adorn my CV. I became a party organizer and typical of my stock in trade, I was able to attract a lot of ladies to my functions to garnish the occasions.

Life In the Media

I ended up in the media enclave after graduation and this was a fertile ground which promoted and supported my way of life as women are easily attracted to people in the media space. At a popular TV Network where I worked at the marketing department, I came by a lot of free tickets for events and these avenues added to the array of arsenals at my disposal in furtherance of my game plan.

In the midst of all these events, I strategically never made any commitment to any girl as I cherished my freedom and did not want to be saddled with any responsibility.  A childhood lady friend of mine was however an exception to this rule. I loved her sincerely and started going out with her but unlike the multitude of other ladies who had fallen prey to my game plan, this lady was different and wouldn’t yield to my much touted pedigree no matter how hard I tried. In her presence, I struggled to curb my feelings. Unfortunately, she travelled out of the country and I bounced back to business as usual.

Stop The Car! Turn Back

It was a nice Friday night in 2010, a friend of mine invited me to Tema for a function where he had lined up some of the finest ladies in town. He wanted me to be around and make them comfortable as I was accustomed to older women who unlike the young ones did not need any grooming. I was excited at this invitation and my friend came over to my house and I handed over the keys to my car for him to drive me to Tema. As we were warming up and getting into the mood for the long night, he started scanning through the radio channels to get a station playing the right music for the occasion. Accidentally, the dial landed at a station where a man of God was preaching.

The sermon resonated so well with my life: the preacher was saying that “it is time, aren’t you tired of this way of life? Where you are going, is that where God wants you to be? God has greater and better things for you. Won’t you give up this life and give Jesus a chance? ” My friend wanted to skip the channel but I strongly resisted and insisted that he kept the channel on that dial. By the time we got to the Tema end of the motorway, I had become so emotional and I instructed my friend to stop and make a U-turn back to Accra. He became upset and angry at the turn of events but since the car was mine, he had no choice but to obey.

Incidentally, I had encountered several men of God in my life who had declared to me on different occasions that there was a special grace upon my life and that God had a unique assignment for me. It was no wonder therefore that even in the depth of my depravity, I got whatever I wanted without sweat. I had indeed taken the grace of God for granted and I rightfully referred to myself as the stubborn child of God.

Turning Point

When we got to the Accra Mall, I asked him to park the car and the voice on the radio asked me to say a prayer after him which I obliged to the surprise of my friend who was undoubtedly perplexed. By then, my girlfriend had returned from her trip and I called her that evening and recounted the ordeal that I had gone through. I confessed to her that I had been naughty and she responded that “Oh yes! I know you have been naughty but I have been praying for you all this while”. She assured me that she had forgiven me unconditionally for all the offences that I had committed. In the very words that the Pastor on the radio had used in his concluding remarks, my girlfriend re-echoed the same phrase: “finally, you have to surrender”.

I had always felt that I would encounter Jesus in a spectacular way in church, but it wasn’t so.  Jesus confronted and arrested me in my own car on the highway through a radio evangelist and I gave my life to Him. I went round to all my friends and acquaintances and told them that IT WAS ALL OVER.

That is when that monster was quenched. Jesus can meet you anywhere and in any situation. My mother had always told me not to treat any woman badly so I went round all the women I was hanging out with and told them that I was tired and that it was all over. Some thought I was joking and greeted me with laughter whilst others were weeping inconsolably.

Dawn of a New Era

I asked my girlfriend to marry me and she agreed. After having dated her for seven years, she was at the point of giving up because she had waited on me for so long and it seemed I wasn’t ready to make an eternal commitment to her in marriage. I took her to the altar in 2011 and a new day dawned on me ushering me into another chapter of my life where stability was restored.

By then, I was working with Vodafone and I left and moved on to SIC Insurance Company and life started getting better. My father who had been a workaholic all his life had also become a Pastor and he was extremely excited. My friends and loved ones were all genuinely happy for me as it had become patently manifest that the old things had passed away and all things had become new and some calmness had settled in my life. I started going to church again and began to develop a personal relationship with Christ which is still flourishing from strength to strength.

Your Wife Is Dying

Three months after marriage, my wife became pregnant and one of the doctors said that with the eye of faith he could see that she was carrying twins. My grand aunt who is a twin had predicted before her death that I would give birth to twins. Putting together the doctor’s report with what my grand aunt had predicted, the darts were connecting perfectly and we were looking forward to her expected date of delivery with excitement. The scan report established that one of the babies was lying in a breech position in the womb: the baby approaches the birth canal with the buttocks or feet instead of the head. Under the circumstance, it was not possible for my wife to have a spontaneous vaginal delivery. She had to go through a Caesarian section.

A day to the surgery, we both had a dream that her womb had exploded. I called my father and he reassured me not to fret but to be still and know that He is God. I had to run around looking for blood and in the process, the nurses hinted me that if I delayed in getting the blood my wife was going to die as the condition had become critical. I managed to secure the blood and my twins were given birth to: a boy and a girl. A partial hysterectomy ( surgery to remove the womb) was done to save the situation.  You would have thought that the birth of the twins should have brought me some relief but on the contrary, I had this sense of heaviness and premonition that something undesirable was going to happen. The door to the theatre opened and out came the doctor with a very gloomy face. He told me that he had tried his best but his best was just not enough. Peeping through the door, I could see my wife’s lifeless body with her womb by her side and the nurses sobbing in the background. By then my mother and mother-law who had been waiting with me had collapsed and had to be taken away. The doctor directed that my wife should be taken to recovery ward. He was frank with me that her condition was critical and the outcome did not look promising.

Miracle Days Are Still Here

I heard my daughter crying and she sounded very much like a person crying from a deep seated anguish and pain. I asked the nurse to give me the little girl and I carried her in my arms and put her beside my wife and started throwing questions at her: “are you going to leave these little kids for us? Who is going to take care of them?” I began pouring my heart out in prayer.  A voice started pointing accusing fingers at me that I was being rewarded for all the sins that I had committed in the past but a counter voice which was undoubtedly that of the Holy Spirit kept whispering to me that “your sins and iniquities, I will remember them no more and that as far as the heavens are above the earth, so far has God separated my sins from me.” In the midst of prayer, my wife miraculously coughed and regained consciousness. The doctor who had given up and was on his way out was called back. It was a miracle! Who says miracle days are over? No, miracles still do happen. My wife had come back to life again and I give all the glory to God.

I Found True Happiness

In June 2017, I honored an invitation to a book launch of a friend of mine who used to be my accomplice in crime at the height of my “insanity”. This event was held under the auspices of the Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship International (FGBMFI). This friend had tried unsuccessfully on several occasions to get me to attend the outreach meetings of the fellowship. This time however, I saw his “Display Picture on whatsapp” and it was an invitation to a book launch and being an avid reader and writer, I decided to attend the event at City Escape Hotel-Accra.

A lady Pastor by name Happy Crentsil did the launching and afterwards she invited people to step out and support her ministry. I responded and she prayed and prophesized over my life. In her own words, she said to me that “you have finally come home”. In several dreams after this encounter, I could see Mama Happy stretching her hands towards me and repeating the same phrase “you have finally come home”. Persistently, I woke up from those dreams with bad headaches. On the advice of my wife, I decided to attend the breakfast meeting of the FGBMFI after I had turned down countless invitations in the past. At the breakfast meeting at the City Escape Hotel, I felt a sense of genuine happiness amongst the members. From my background, it was easy to tell people who were faking and mimicking happiness from genuinely joyful people. I had come to a firm conviction that these people were genuinely happy and from that day, I took a decision to join the fellowship and I have not regretted.

I had always been a private person but after having been exposed to the power of testimony in Full Gospel, I decided to break the silence and share my story. Together with my wife, we authored the book “Allow God to Be God-Our Testimony”. A lot of lives have been touched reading and listening to my testimony. God has given me a ministry to take the word of God to young people, especially amongst the women.